Beth Metatronim

11:46 pm: RP post for milliways_bar: Painting Richard and Armand
It is just a few steps through the snow, and they arrive at a timber-framed house with a steep roof.

Beth unlocks the door, and beckons his visitors inside. There is a corridor, and at the end otf the corridor, there is a kitchen with nobody in it. There is a range, rather central in the wall, where the old hearth used to be, and a sink to the left; beside the sink, there is a door, white like the walls, and slightly open.

"Over there," Beth says, leading them through, and down a flight of chairs.

The first level of cellars is just full of supplies: food, wine, a keg of ale, canvasses, demi-johns of turpentine.

Down the next flight of stairs, and there is a studio, a couch, and easel with a large fresh canvas, and paints ready for used. There is a decanter of red wine, and some glasses ready beside it.

"You go there", Beth says with a grin, indicating the couch.

06:35 am: Lancre
We're at the Inn in Lancre. We were here before, with Ponder and Victor and all those people on our way to Ankh-Morpork.

This is where we met both Perks and Maladict. This is where Ponder gave me the message from Margo that I would be welcome back to Bonk, and that Lajos could stay in Ankh-Morpork as long as he liked thought necessary.

This is where I told him of that, and where we first knew that we would be together for good, at least for Lajos's good. Not mine, but it'll be a considerable number of yers, so I don't have to start moping yet.

I got us our old room again. It's just as dingy as it was last time around, but at least it is familiar and special. This time, instead of Ponder and Victor, we might hear William and Otto in the next room, crying their pleasure after we have finished with ours.

This is where I first had Maladict's coffee in the morning because the faint brown broth smelling slightly of acorns and burned chicory that the inn offers was too revolting for words. This time, I shall be making the coffee.

Tomorrow, when Otto, William and that Fizz creature move on, I will be talking to the King about the commission of his family portrait. I won't leave Lajos and him alone for a minute, though, and I hope there will be not Tomjon or Skazz Zesk in eveidence, although I hope I might see Vlad for a moment, though. After that, we fly to Munz and Lajos will help the Reverend and Shufti with the garlic bread while I work with the kids. I have something very special planned for this week. Lajos pokes fun at me for reading all the newest publications about early education that come from Preiselberg, but there are some fascinating ideas I can try.

09:29 am: Life is good!
Several things have made me a very happy monster lately.

It's good to teach kids to paint and draw and whatnot. Well, teach. They all can paint and draw naturally, their perceptions are just different from the grown-up ones, and their skills and techniques may still be clumsy. Introductions to new materials, answering questions, asking them to just look at things and tell me what they see, and telling them things as to inspire them is usually enough. I enjoyed it tremendously last week, and am going to do more of it. Would it be all right if I came on Wednesday this week, Reverend?

It's good to have a home, and people in it. It's not just Lajos and me, I mean. That I enjoy Lajos's company is a given. Not, I actually enjoy having Igorina puttering about (when she's not out treating severe frostbite and the like), and having Otto working in a part of my cellar, and Perks coming over often with Lajos, who's started herim on Watch business, at least the indoor kind. Not there are rumours of William plus the Times caricaturist coming here as well! I didn't know we're that funny that we need an extra caricaturist, but perhaps Otto decided the werewolves need some professional fun poked at them. In any case, they're both welcome to stay with us, of course! And we'll see to it that Otto and Wililam are not disturbed for at least a day after William arrives, even if that means sticking the caricaturist in a roomful of werewolves and daring him to make them roll over with laughter.

It's good to see how well the Book And Food Drive for the school in Munz is going. One thing, though, amuses me greatly. I had cards printed at the local printing press, following the precisely clacksed instruction from the Times Press dwarves who'd worked out the technique while Otto took the initial iconographs (and taught me how to, for future application). There are eight different pictures showing scenes from Borogravia and general winter pictures, and I've done a hundred of each so far. I'd never expect more than eight hundred contributors! But. I have found that some people bring in the books they mean to give one at a time. One contribution = one random card from the stack. Seems they are trying to get a set of eight, containing each card exactly once. On Octeday, Lajos told me he'd seen two older kids in the street haggling over my cards. I would give anyone who asks a full set, but Lajos maintains that the act of getting them all together is what makes it fun, and as not to disappoint them, I have to tell out volunteers to strictly stick to what we've been doing so far. Heh!! I have become collectable.

08:05 am: Reverend, would it be all right if I come to Munz again today to sketch children? I had an idea - I could bring a large roll of paper and some wax crayons, and they could all paint one picture together. That's normally a very good idea to get a group of kids, or any people really if they're game, to gel. And it would be fun. And we could hang it up at the book drive.

I can keep busy while Lajos is being iimportant watchmanning it in Escrow! See if I care!

Tonight I was trying to paint, but the "Aaaaaah-hoooOOOOO" of the werewolves' howl penetrated even into my painting cellar. I may be a bit cranky because Lajos isn't there don't really need peace and quietness to paint, but hour after hour of "Aaaaaahhhh-hooooOOOOO" really gets on my nerves. So I stormed out and flew to where they were making that bloody racket, and went, "Do you mind?? Some people are trying to paint here, so can you please shut up?" Imagine three dozen wolves, picturesquely arrayed on a mountainside in the light of the full moon - looking at you poleaxed and almost guilty. It was fun.

Of course, they started again very soon.

01:21 am: Things and stuff
For the weekend after next, Lajos and I have decided to go to that baths town the name of which nobody can be possibly expected to remember, and just relax and sit in the hot steam and eat meals consisting entirely of big, hot desserts.

Until then, there's much to do.

( Stuff )

Now to the Ankh-Morpork end of things. Raimon DiCorcoran, my new agent, has arrived in Ankh-Morpork and has delivered the commissioned painting to Miss Wiggs, and she made a journal entry about it, so I know. PCs are very useful. So:

Maladict, can you tell Raimon to go see Dasha who lives at Mrs Cake's boarding house in Elm Street now so they can go look at the city together, as both Angua and you probably have other things to do than showing  around bright-eyed new arrivals?

Ponder, would you let Raimon and Dasha go climb the Tower of Art to get a look at Ankh-Morpork from above? Margo suggested you might ask your student Mr Darwin to go with them, but from the way she smiled, it might have been a joke.

Teppic, could you show Raimon and Dasha around a bit if you have time? I'm sure they'll enjoy looking at the most obvious sights, even, just as at the most arcane ones; they are both very enthusiastic. Lajos has clacksed Belle as well, so she might take pity on them at some stage. I hope he's still afraid of my displeasure and has a bad conscience for what he did; if they have a bad conscience, they usually jump at every suggestion like those hoppety-skippety animals from Fourecks, and that's a good thing.

09:30 am: Now we are becoming do-gooders!
So, I sent off a cart of whitewash and plaster to the Reverend so he can get his new Mission House in Munz nice and habitable. I'm going there again myself on Saturday to see if I can halp a bit which I certainly will have to, as the Reverend has two left hands, and both of them full of thumbs, if I ever saw anybody having those. At least renovation-wise, I fear. I'll paint the blackboard, then, too, and bring more books. Lajos will come along to help and boss me about because a blackboard needs precision, and talk further plans.

So we got ourselves an actual charitable project now. Only that it's not charity as in "Let's be nice to those poor people", it's more like "I have to help them, or I will burst with pity plus guilt for not helping them when I know about them", and that's a very painful feeling I need to alleviate, and not at all a good and ethical one I am acting on.

I think I will have to repeat that often, or I will get the reputation of a bloody do-gooder.

Because I went yesterday to bring the slates and books to the Reverend for his school in Munz, and had a look at his school and mission house. Well, let's say the roof is sound, and the pipe from the stove to the chimney is probably easy to unblock. I suspect dead owls. Of course I immediately wanted to come again and help with renovations. The Reverend was quite glad for the reasons I have already mentioned, and seems to have forgotten I am really this dangerous vampire he needs to show his turtle pendant to as to drive me away - not that it would, Sacramantan vampires don't fear religious symbols; we have other hangups Otto or Margo would find ridiculous.

And this evening, I went and addressed Margo's League Meeting to get them to help with the book and food drive. Because that is something Margo suggested - it will get children to come to school really easily if the Reverend can offer them a bowl of soup and a piece of bread for lunch. Feeding children isn't all that easy in war-starved, only slowly recovering Borogravia. She says the method has been tried before, and worked every time. Well, I was allowed to sit in the back and surreptitiously plug my ears with my fingers against their atrocious hymns, and draw when they were not singing, until it was time to tell them of my plan. They listened very interestedly, and were all for it, and had very valuable ideas, like Margo with her soup. And they asked for no pledge or anything. I fear they think I am already reformed and really harmless. Who knows what things Margo may have been claiming about me...

In any case, Raimon and Maladict left yesterday morning bearing many things for the Ankh-Morpork end of my business, and some watercolours to print up as cards for the book and food drive. Margo's "Seminary" is almost dispersed now; let there be other things we can dedicate our energy to. Lajos gets me to make him coffee while he makes lists; he can think in lists so things become clear, it is astonishing. My ideas come all jumbled and wild and screeching "Me first, me first, me first", but Lajos can make sense of them and calmly determine which really should go first.

Oriel is right. I think I will burst some more now.

08:06 pm: Visit to Ankh-Morpork
We went to Ankh-Morpork today just to wish Ponder a happy birthday. Well, we also took the Watch Igor home, but we wouldn't have gone especially for that. Even though it's the ethically more admirable cause and all that. Lajos quipped that he's ethical all the time at work, so he can be selfish in his spare time and rather see friends as a main reason than do something for the good of all.

We  went while it was still dark (I don't have to inflict sunlight on myself on purpose, after all), and after taking a breather in my cellar, scaring up the little dog who lives on the grounds (he pretended he can't speak, but we know better) and collecting the Bonkian Chocolate Cake we'd sent on ahead, we went to the University at a decent time.

Ponder was doing paperwork (on his birthday!) and was totally astonished to see us. He kept assuring us there really was no party, and took some time believing we really just came to congratulate him and bring him the cake. He wore a very cute new sweater some female relative had knitted for him; it showed a dog that was supposed to look looked remotely like Josephine.

Lajos suggested going for early lunch with sushi pizza at Ron's Pizza Hovel, with the intention of feeding me dessert afterwards and showing off how tame I had become - hah, you wish! -  and we did so after collecting Victor who emerged blearily from the next room where he'd oviously been asleep in Ponder's bed. Ponder grew bright red, a shade that even Raimon can never hope to accomplish, and Lajos and I tried to think of very sad things to stop ourselves from laughing while Victor was totally unconcerned and said "Hey, what's up?", not even really astonished to see us.

To distract all of us from the amusement/embarrassment, I asked to draw Ponder in his new Josephine jumper together with the actual Josephine. Ponder went "OH NOOOOOOO" and tried to escape and quietly hide in a corner, but I shooed him from there and begged and wheedled and batted my eyelashes until he let me. Lajos poked me in the ribs and told me not to upset Ponder on his birthday, but he believed me when I said that the Master Wizard and I really understand each other. Ponder really looked cute in his birthday jumper, and he grew a bit red when I said so, so I finally drew him with blush, dog, and jumper. Victor was a bit put out that I chased Ponder about, but not jealous, just thinking Ponder wouldn't like it. He kept his displeasure to a quietly implied disapproval that only I really noticed, so I left it at that - he sleeps too much and doesn't pay Ponder enough attention as it is.

After the prolonged lunch (with delicious green tea ice cream afterwards!), we spontaneously went to the Assassins' Guild to say hello to our friends there. Arthur was terribly busy, but he allowed me to meet the kitten he'd been given by Jevanael Hyperachii while he was in Sacramante - a stylish cool white cat as one would expect from Jevanael. Teppic was a bit dubious and promised to be good. We will see how long that promise holds. He introduced Lajos to his chariot horses, but then he was busy as well. Miss Wiggs and her friend were very busy, too!  The place reminded you very much of a poked anthill. Worse than the one inside HEX. So we went back to my cellar and rearranged pictures to cover the holes left by those Maladict sold in the interim until it grew dark, and we flew home.

Tomorrow, we host a party before everybody leaves. The tables Margo lent us are still dubious, but both Angua and Raimon swear they will hold up.

06:18 am: It's November 14th, and that is Ponder Stibbons' birthday!

So, happy birthday, Master Wizard!

We haven't seen that much of you on the PC recently, but we all love you to bits like you tremendously!

11:32 pm: This is such a quiet Octeday; I didn't know they existed any more.

I spent all day going over paintings and ideas and figures with Raimon; I've never seen anybody calculating figures that quickly. Looks sweet and harmless, freshly scrubbed and overenthusiastic, and is terribly quick and clever behind that. I'm glad he's going to work for me.

I was good and turned up at Lajos's people's for coffee, as ordered invited, and ended up playing Thud against Lajos's nephew, and losing spectacularly under general cheering, even though he had let me be the dwarves and not the trolls, as that's supposed to be easier. That was such fun! The little fellow is really clever, and so enjoyed beating me, and kept teasing me for my mistakes, but nicely.

Afterwards, we showed Lajos's sister and her son round our my new house; she was suitably impressed by the Igorina, but then spent an hour ranting at Lajos in the kitchen about some nasty relative who doesn't do what he or she is supposed to, according to Ilona. Human families aren't any easier than vampire ones, I fear.

Something else: Ponder, are you okay? We never hear from you any more. I miss our dear Master Wizard. I hope you haven't been terminally embarrassed by bloody Teppic and his bloody big mouth.

09:23 am: What? What? What?
Okay, the first part I can explain: where I was. I went after the wrong werewolf! It was snowing, and I didn't know what Dasha felt like that much, so when I caught up with her, it wasn't Dasha. Ouch!

But only not really so, because I felt a human somebody being mortally afraid in the next valley, and werewolves there, and wolves, so I went and plucked a young man from a screaming horse that had wolves (true or weres I couldn't tell) hanging on to its legs, and its entrails hanging out. The poor creature was past salvation, so I grabbed the rider, broke its neck with one kick, and was off.

His life-force felt very familiar, generically as well as personally, and so it was Raimon DiCorcoran, Sacramantan human, one of my own patron family, and coming here on my business. That was why I had sensed his panic from one valley further down: I am attuned to DiCorcorans in general, and I had tasted him specifically last some time in spring, and had been his first anyway, a few years ago.

He was clinging to me, and sobbing with relief. I flew him back to Bonk, and shoved him in the door with Lajos, who stared at me with eyes like a pair of carriage lamps. Then I went off again.

So this was the reason I was missing, which people had been wondering about.

Angua had sent off very panicked messages, and I flew to where the most howling was, and there indeed on a mountainside were Angua and silly young Dasha and Lupine, huddled together and hurt - in a ring of werewolves all fighting each other!! So I picked them up and grabbed them out of the battle - there were at least two dozen werewolves fighting among each other! As Angua had said, Mikhail and Sergei had finally turned against Nancy and Unity, and they were making mincemeat of each other. Lupine, poor fellow, was of course human-shaped, wielding a ruddy great silver-plated sword; and Angua and Dasha weren't hard to recognize, as they were the wolves huddling with him - beautiful, sleek and golden the one, skinny, grey and with large, frightened eyes the other.

So now we're back at Margo's castle. Igor rigorously grabbed them and declared he is going to keep Lupine there tonight as well as he might have to "thit on him until he rethtth, Marthter Beth". And then Igorina brought Dasha's cubs - and one of them wasn't a cub any more, it was a slightly hairy baby! At the full moon, no less.

I'll be back home soon.

10:24 am: I can still hear Nancy and Unity howling in the woods. I think I recognize their voices now. Which bitch is which I don't know any more than Lajos, and don't really care. Their furs are alike enough to make one very nice hearth rug where you no longer see which bit came from which bitch.

I now owe Lajos a new silver chain to wear his religious symbol on. I don't think the werewolves will be returning his old one.

On the bright side: we got to see Polly Oliver Perks at Margo's castle, and she was actually glad to see us. Can make an effort still, at least outside comments. Everybody sees this; not everbody sees all the comments. We stayed a while and generally told her him how much we liked her him, and left when I felt her him getting a bit tired. Mal was there all the time and didn't budge. I could feel her love for Polly so clearly in that room, it was as if it were another object in there, that tangible. I hope that they will realise or express it at some stage in the future; it is too beautiful a thing to just be supressed, fester, and turn to pain. I think I will have to paint them.-

08:52 pm: Found!!

Two werewolves, female, caught while trying to molest my Lajos in the woods yet again.

Are they stupid or what? By now, they should have got that on the one hand, not even the fact that there's two of them will compensate for the fact that Lajos is not a little girl in a red bonnet, on the other hand, the moment they attack, I appear and prod furry buttock because we can do a very practical vampire trick called a "mind-chime", and on the third hand (Erm, should that be "first foot"?) they were on Margo's territory yet again, and they are in for a spot of trouble yet again.

Anybody wants them 'cause I don't, except for a hearth rug; and Lajos said he objects to hearth rugs made from people, even if they're utterly nasty people. So I have no use for them at all.

08:58 am: P.S: Rest of the world
While all bloody hell was breaking loose around here with bloody Lacrimosa and whatnot, the world has not been sleeping elsewhere, and quite seriously, I am appalled at some things.

( Private to Teppic )

( Private to Ponder )

07:58 am: State of affairs: summary
Oh, gods, we've got Polly Perks back!! SHe is alive, and as well as can be expected after all that happened, and not afraid of Mal or me, luckily.

And Vlad has taken Tomjon (who was terrified of us) and Skazz Zesk away to Lancre, and thankfully away from anyway near my Lajos where I so totally didn't want them at all.

Lajos has fed all the rescuers, and bundled them through the hot spring so they could get off the grime and drive the tiredness and shock from their bones, and then saw to it that everybody has a bedroom. Well, Polly's two comrades have one together, but nobody expected otherwise.

Lupine will be all right, the Igors tell us. In the end, all three of them were busy over him, but they say he will live, and be strong again as he used to. He hasn't woken up yet, though.

When the Igors allowed us in to see Polly, we gave Mal some minutes' head start, and then went in and hugged Polly and told her how glad we were to have her back. I cried like a baby with relief, of course, being me; and when Lajos, at the end of his tether and forgetting himself, kissed the tears from my eyes, Polly actually smiled at that. I could feel how sweet she found us. I think it was doing her good to see that. She felt safe with us.

Mal has dropped down semi-dead beside Perks' bed and refuses to budge; everybody else is going to sleep as well, and we'll grab a few hours shut-eye in the cellar where I ued to live when I was here first, too. Lajos totally needs it. And something else first, and so do I, but we shall be quick about it.

Tomorrow we have a whole Octeday to regroup and take stock before the next catastrophe looms on Monday.

05:32 am: Found them!!
I've found a carriage, rather over-loaded, with Angua, Tonker and Lofty, the former hostages, Lupine, the Ankh-Morpork City Watch Igor, Skazz Zesk, and Maladict in!

Margo, you got enough things ready for that many people.

Vlad: where are you? Are you hurt at all? Nobody is actually dying here, so I should come and help you if at all possible!!

05:04 am: WHAT?????
What? What happened? Where is Vlad? Where is Laccie? Where are the people who are wounded? Is Mal or Vlad badly wounded??

I'm coming there to help right now. Expect me within minutes. Ten should do it from Bonk.

06:47 pm: Wolf cubs!!
We just got a message that Dasha has had her litter! Nothing more, so there's no point in asking yet whether bimorphs or yennorks, and how many, or anything. Lajos wasn't going to take me along, as it's official business, but Margo is going as well, and she bloody well isn't official either, so why shouldn't I come? I'm in on this. And Lajos agreed he'd take me along and was actually quite glad to have me, giving me a big kiss for being so supportive and all - we shall vanquish all pointy infatuation yet!, so we're off now, hoping the werewolf bitches won't notice us going. We don't have to leave the city, after all, and they mostly don't come in here when the gates are closed, so we will be allright.

I hope nothing happens while we're gone; we'll be as fast as possible.

02:22 pm: I had to do something, had I?

The mere ideas of those bitches threatening Lajos every time he walks through the woods to my chapel made me really furious. Fighting them every single day - argh!!!

So I've bought a house in Bonk, within the city walls.

It's quite all right, with cellars four levels deep, and access to the hot spring system in the lowest.< So we can have long, relaxing baths together again, as we used to in Margo's castle. That was always so - enjoyable.

The upstairs seems quite all right, too

So, there's one challenge now (two, really): to get the builders to look at the roof soonest and do the Stone Wool thing here as well, so we I don't get a nasty sursprise in the winter.

Challenge number two: to get Lajos to move in with me. I fear that will be uphill work.

11:35 am: WEREWOLVES DIE DIE DIE!!!! (Not you, Angua dear)
Nancy and Unity, the werewolf bitches, are really in for some serious trouble with me now if I ever see them again. And if they go near my Lajos again, too! Yesterday, they turned up when he was here, pretending to want to see my paintings. A polite "No" was useless, and an earnest "Please, not now", either, so when they got cheeky, I slapped one. Great puddles of blood, I don't even know which is Nancy and which Unitiy. I slapped the one in the red velvet dress, not the green brocade one. Both turned into wolves, so I caught them by the scruff of their necks before they could get anywhere near Lajos. I threw them out, they turned even in the air to come at me again, so I kicked them. They didn't look like giving up, so I grabbed them again, flew up a bit, spun around and then threw them off the mountain altogether. They haven't turned up again, and it's been almost 18 hours. So perhaps they got the message.

They left their dresses when they changed, so Margo took them back to the top werewolf.

I bloody hate the bloody bitches!!! I want their pelts for a hearth rug, and the bloody rest of them burned to cinders. And as I am an ancient bloody monster myself, I am then going to make love to my Lajos on my new hearth rug, unless it squicks him, of course!

( Private, just to myself )

07:21 am: I HATE WEREWOLVES!!! (Not you, Angua!)
For one thing, I hate the way they wear their dresses. At least the two I met tonight. They wear their dresses, complicated, stately dresses with gold brocade, lace, and embroidery, silk and velvet, like a total afterthought, slapped on almost contemptuously and a tad to big, as if someone had told them only recently that naked women are not acceptable, and they sullenly obey. And their hair, so artfully tousled and messy and big, as if they spent hours before a mirror to get the Wild Child effect just right.

These two lounge about the trees as if they were naked.

( Our run-in with the werewolves; don't read if you're easily scared! )
Erm, Arthur, do you know whether Raimon DiCorcoran has left yet? If not, can you ask him to bring me a small keg of Orange Wine when he comes? There are situations when only The Alcoholic Drink From Home will do, and I was almost homesick for the stuff after our run-in with the werewolves.-